Wednesday, August 8, 2012

A Tough Decision

Okay, so this next semester I am staying in Utah instead of going to Virginia.
It's kinda bitter sweet super difficult choice, but so far I am okay with it.

I would lay in bed with my eyes closed tight late at night, thinking of where I should go, 
or what I should do. These thoughts taking away any chance for my body to fall into a 
desperately wanted slumber. It seemed like the back of my eyelids were bursting with light,
as though I was staring into the screen of a TV on a missing channel. 
The white noise a flashing of lights, with glimpses of scenes, displaying hints of the paths that
lay before me. I was hoping desperately, that it would show me something useful if I waited long enough, to just choose something for me. 
The more I stared with desperation the more I knew deep down that the choice was mine.
I had the controls and I had to make the ultimate choice.
Once I had made a choice I could see the complete scene of the path.
I was scared though, had I waited too long, are my choices gone, and now I'm left with nothing?
What if it was the wrong choice, can I go back without any bad consequences?
Or do I have to go valiantly through with the wrong choice, desperately waiting for a new option to come along and save me.
I laid awake so man nights thinking these thoughts. I was praying at night for help on a decision.
Unfortunately I don't think there was a bad, or good decision in this case.

One night I was finally thinking I knew what I wanted to do. 
So I prayed about it, again, nothing. But the next evening, I was at dinner with my parents.
When all the sudden a thought came that I was going to stay in Utah for the semester.
So I told them, and here I am, staying in Utah.

I am going to miss Virginia and SVU so much, and all the friends that I have made there that have kept me sane. I might be returning in the spring though. 
I don't know yet.
Right now I am just trying to get everything in order for my semester in Utah.
I am excited to be closer to my family, to be able to spend holidays with them,
and it will be fun to be closer to the friends that I have here. 
Well, wish me luck! I am diving into the deep unknown!

1 comment:

  1. Enjoy the time spent in Utah. I promise you will have a good time but you will come running back to Virginia!